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Pin #81: Teaching Respectful Boundaries

June 19, 2013
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Pin #81: Respectful Boundaries

Hopefully this post won’t totally embarrass my child one day. I found the above post from “A Mom with a Lesson Plan” blog.  Luca has been an extremely affectionate child from early on, with his buddies. I remember one day when he had just started walking hugging his little buddy Anna goodbye after a playdate and not letting go…like at all.  He was 100% full of love for her and had to squeeze her to let her know.  Still to this day, he’s never met a baby he could resist kissing or a toddler he could resist hugging (tackling?).   But when he tried to open mouth kiss one of my girlfriends just about a year ago, I realized we needed to have a serious talk about boundaries.

He had learned some good stuff from preschool and the concept of ‘self space,’ but this blog post really gives some good examples on how to teach a kid to back off his buddies when they don’t feel the love.  I’ve had to execute the ‘prep’ listed here and the ‘in the moment’ suggestions numerous times.  In addition, part of our ‘prep’ was to make a rule that most times it is OK to hug ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ and limit to that for now.  We also talked a lot about reading body language.  We need to see how our friends are reacting to the ‘love’ and see if it is too much or not.  Either these talks and ‘exercises’ worked or he’s just grown out of his OVER affectionate stage.  He seems to have a better idea of when it is ok to hug his buddies and who likes it and who doesn’t.  He still showers his baby sister with kisses and brother with tumble down bear hugs, but seems to know some better boundaries and when to back off.

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In this moment, I was pretty proud of his huggable nature. He was so happy that his teammate had scored a goal – you can see the pure love in this hug!

81 down….19 to go!

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